Was it really only a year ago?! I'm loving this Crazy life I live!! last year - I went through the motions because I was grieved in the core of my soul. Everyone handles crisis differently. For me - loosing our 3rd child to a miscarriage may not seem significant to alot of people. But for me - it was. To me, that was a child, a life, a human soul. A child I will never hold on this side of eternity!! There is a loss, an ache, and a hole that will always be there. I am comforted in knowing that "In all things God works for our Good!" I've paraphrased it - because for me that is what the essence of the verse in Romans 8:28 - a promise to me that "...all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." His purpose - was to bring me to my knees, to know who HE was, and to bring me on a journey of love and Grace in many ways!! I begged God to show me Himself this year and He has in some crazy and amazing and wonderful and magnificent ways!! I'm not there completely! Only a quarter of the way :) It's a journey through the hills, deserts, mountains, and vineyards of life! It's a magnificent journey!! I'm so thankful that the Lord lead me to Ann's website (aholyexperience.com)!! It was truly a blessing to me!!
I have much to be thankful for - despite people I've known and been acquainted with meeting my Savior this passed week - I've found a lot of joy in the small things that He has given to me!! Like a little girl who says, "I broke my toy mommy but I know, I KNOW YOU can fix it for me!! Just use TAPE!! :) The poor exhausted but contented smile my husband gives me when he see's the joy and life and love and laughter in the eyes of our small children!! The joy he expresses when his co-worker calls him and asks if he wants to switch times with him and he gets a full night of sleep. The sound of two little cute girls - laughing as they re-enact the 3 little pigs in their beds while waiting for Mommy to say, "It's time to start the day!" It takes a little bit of Thankfulness to realize the richness of the blessings He has given to us!! I'm thankful for another 6 months with my mom!! It's been a crazy and wild road - but each step - though it hasn't been easy and I've not always responded correctly - I've seen the Grace of my God, leading me and guiding me through this crazy dark world.
A little bit of Thankfulness goes along way in adding positive in a negative world!! I'm thankful for all those who came up behind me and held up my hands - they were there when I needed them the most! They know who they are!! Most of all - I'm thankful that we get to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas - not the gifts, not the food, not the "presence" of our family and friends - all that is great - but remembering Christ and all He sacrificed to be born of a Virgin - to grow into a man and to die an awful death on the Cross - to bring redemption and love to ALL mankind!!
So I end this year - not accomplishing many of my goals I set out to do. I read some books but not all the books on my list. I read and studied the Word of my God!! While I didn't reach the goal in my chapter reading that I wanted - I still made the effort. It's the little baby steps. the little things that count. But the most important thing I accomplished this year - was of no accomplishment for me - but of God. I pray that the next year - He will continue to show Himself strong to me - to teach me - to mold me - to exercise my faith. I know what that will entail. I eagerly await what He has in store!!
Remember This Christmas - what the season is really all about?! It isn't the gifts - it is a bout THE GIFT of the Son of God!! Remember why HE came - why HE gave up so much to offer us LIFE and FREEDOM!!
